Seize the Moment, Seize the Day.. 5 days later
Whups, I had started this a few days ago and kept it as a draft. Hopefully the finished product will have some sort of cohesion...
Anyways...
The "Seize the moment, Sieze the day" stuff is the theme and title song of my brother's high school graduation. So I had attended my brother's convocation at the Jubilee Auditorium. By the way, the song is actually pretty good and hopefully they'll try to record it somewhere. Anyways, recently I've been witness to a few milestones (a first car, marriage, high school graduation)and it has kind of forced me to think a bit (I know, I try not to strain myself).
So I started thinking back to my own graduation, and really not much came back. I never really thought graduating high school was a big deal. In fact, why are we really celebrating it? Whoop dee doo, we managed to get at least half the questions on our exams right... yeehaw? But I realize now that graduation was not merely about passing high school. I guess I might have gotten it then if I had truly listened to all the speeches I would hear. Graduation was also about transition, that one chapter of life was closing and another one was beginning. New changes were going to happen, and for better or worse, we're taking this time to celebrate the actual past that happened, and the bright potential future. Really, this is where all the cliches come but they're really the only way to describe whats going on...
Actually, hold those thoughts for another entry... This is where the blog takes an abrupt turn yet. This is what I get for not finishing a blog on the day I started it.
Today I was heading home from the U of A and decided to take the LRT. Now, as I was going down, I suddenly saw some shapes near the edges of the station. In fact, they were on the tracks. Great, I thought to myself, it was some people goofing around or what it looked to me was that someone threw a random bag of stuff on the tracks. Then I realized that it was actually an elder lady who fell off her powered wheelchair (perhaps she just got off the train, stayed on the spot for a little bit to find something?). I'm not going to describe it much. She was lying on her side as emergency personnel was helping her, and what looked to be her husband holding a considerable sized cloth covered in blood next to them. I'm not sure how to describe how I felt, but I saw the face of someone else and I went a bit numb...
This blog started off looking at milestones and celebrations to a tragic event. I can't even think about what I would reflect on. I'm a bit mixed in what to think or feel. I haven't exactly learned a grand lesson from all that has happened, but I'll be mulling it over for a while...
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Clinical Reasoning
Well, its been about a week since I finished finals. My last two exams were a multiple choice exam and a practical exam. The practical (OSCE - stands for Observed structured clinical exam??) would have us assess a fake patient in either a physical or mental health aspect. I think I'll just talk about the OSCE now, it was quite an experience. There was actually a lot of material to cover, and in the end we would draw up a piece of paper that would only look at a little portion of that material. Basically, know everything or risk getting something you can't deal with. As well, to pass you had to get a mark of 70% or better. It did seem like an exam that you kick ass in or utterly utterly fail, but there were a few borderline marks.
I got to school about 10:00 am even though my test was at 6:50 pm so I could walk through mock scenarios a few more times under "Exam conditions." I thought it'd be a lot easier to know what to say after going through it with other people over and over again. I'm not sure if I would have done better if I just relaxed for the whole day and then come in near 5 to do the exam. I feel as though I need to go through the day focusing on that one event, even though thinking about the test sapped my energy because of nerves.
Now, the OSCE is set up so if you're doing a physical assessment, you've got about 6 minutes to take a quick history and then determine whats wrong. For a psychosocial part you've got 10 minutes to take a history and then go through an assessment. The physical portion is fairly straightforward, you get someone who "hurt" their right shoulder or left hip and knee. However, the mental health part can be tricky because their diagnosis can be major depression to mania. Depending on how the patient plays it, it can be very tough to handle the situation. In some cases, the patient refused to go though the assessment and other times they would be touching the student and rapidly talking.
Oh yeah, another thing that kind pissed me off was that my test had been moved back 40 minutes, so I said ah screw it, I'll come back later. Of course, when I get there about 7:10, I found out that they had been close to on time and that I got skipped. Crap! So my exam actually did get pushed back 40 minutes, but it was my fault. That was so awesome...
So anyways, I finally walk into the exam room and get my case scenario. Yay, its a mental health and my patient's diagnosis is Major Depression. Now, I kinda had an idea of what would happen. Major Depression would not affect someone's ability to tell you how to perform something, they can and know how to do it physically and cognitively. However, for some reason, there is just this void inside and it sucks up all your energy. Anyways, I walk in, start up the history and ask a few questions. Generally, I'm doing fine although I do need to speak up.
Now for my highlight moment!!
One of my questions is something along, "imagine you are at home and are about to goto bed. What should you do to make yourself feel safe?" Usually people will say check windows or lock the door (correct answer) but my patient says oh I've got a HANDGUN underneath my pillow. Oh fantastic, you're depressed and you have a handgun. Its a wonderful combination that mixes well, like Kool Aid and water....
Afterward we were talking to the evaluator of the OSCE, and he said to me it was funny the way my face looked when the patient said that. He also said he hoped that I acknowledged it in my written portion of the exam. I of course nodded politely and thought, good thing you aren't marking it! I'm so glad I have clinical reasoning...
But yeah, bottom line is that I passed it and am so glad that its done with!!! =D
Well, its been about a week since I finished finals. My last two exams were a multiple choice exam and a practical exam. The practical (OSCE - stands for Observed structured clinical exam??) would have us assess a fake patient in either a physical or mental health aspect. I think I'll just talk about the OSCE now, it was quite an experience. There was actually a lot of material to cover, and in the end we would draw up a piece of paper that would only look at a little portion of that material. Basically, know everything or risk getting something you can't deal with. As well, to pass you had to get a mark of 70% or better. It did seem like an exam that you kick ass in or utterly utterly fail, but there were a few borderline marks.
I got to school about 10:00 am even though my test was at 6:50 pm so I could walk through mock scenarios a few more times under "Exam conditions." I thought it'd be a lot easier to know what to say after going through it with other people over and over again. I'm not sure if I would have done better if I just relaxed for the whole day and then come in near 5 to do the exam. I feel as though I need to go through the day focusing on that one event, even though thinking about the test sapped my energy because of nerves.
Now, the OSCE is set up so if you're doing a physical assessment, you've got about 6 minutes to take a quick history and then determine whats wrong. For a psychosocial part you've got 10 minutes to take a history and then go through an assessment. The physical portion is fairly straightforward, you get someone who "hurt" their right shoulder or left hip and knee. However, the mental health part can be tricky because their diagnosis can be major depression to mania. Depending on how the patient plays it, it can be very tough to handle the situation. In some cases, the patient refused to go though the assessment and other times they would be touching the student and rapidly talking.
Oh yeah, another thing that kind pissed me off was that my test had been moved back 40 minutes, so I said ah screw it, I'll come back later. Of course, when I get there about 7:10, I found out that they had been close to on time and that I got skipped. Crap! So my exam actually did get pushed back 40 minutes, but it was my fault. That was so awesome...
So anyways, I finally walk into the exam room and get my case scenario. Yay, its a mental health and my patient's diagnosis is Major Depression. Now, I kinda had an idea of what would happen. Major Depression would not affect someone's ability to tell you how to perform something, they can and know how to do it physically and cognitively. However, for some reason, there is just this void inside and it sucks up all your energy. Anyways, I walk in, start up the history and ask a few questions. Generally, I'm doing fine although I do need to speak up.
Now for my highlight moment!!
One of my questions is something along, "imagine you are at home and are about to goto bed. What should you do to make yourself feel safe?" Usually people will say check windows or lock the door (correct answer) but my patient says oh I've got a HANDGUN underneath my pillow. Oh fantastic, you're depressed and you have a handgun. Its a wonderful combination that mixes well, like Kool Aid and water....
Afterward we were talking to the evaluator of the OSCE, and he said to me it was funny the way my face looked when the patient said that. He also said he hoped that I acknowledged it in my written portion of the exam. I of course nodded politely and thought, good thing you aren't marking it! I'm so glad I have clinical reasoning...
But yeah, bottom line is that I passed it and am so glad that its done with!!! =D
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Down but Not Out
My lack of effort or drive, whatever it is exactly, has cost me bigtime. I didn't really expect it to happen, but it did. What happened is this: I didn't get credit for one of my courses. I'm not going to bother getting into the specifics (fair or unfair, bullshit class or not?), except the bottom line is that I failed it. Now, I forget if I've mentioned it earlier, but I was heading toward my next clinical fieldwork placement on May 15th. However, that is no longer so, because a requirement of attending fieldwork is passing all previous Occupational Therapy courses. Therefore, when May 15th rolls around, I'm staying home.
I did not see this one coming at all. I was sitting in the computer lab and checking my email and it felt like a glancing blow to the face. I was in a state of shock but trying to immediately deal with it as best as I could. I immediately set up an appointment with the instructor and see what my options are in this situation.
After that appointment, it basically confirmed that I'm not going to fieldwork. To kind of compound it a bit, that was also the day that I was going to the oral surgeon to figure out the details of my wisdom teeth removal for the summer. That ended with me being at Westmount Transit Center, and during that time I actually stopped by and visited with my former Mandarin teacher. It was more or less a pleasant visit. When she asked how I was doing, I said good, but of course it was more like "I'm fucking crushed because I can't go onto placement."
On the long bus ride home, I forget if it was the same day or earlier, I had a long time to think. After recovering from the initial shock of all, I started to think. Maybe this could be a positive event after all. In fact, this could be the best thing to happen to me so far in OT... Yes, failing a course. Why? Because this consequence has given me a sense of urgency and a sense that I do need to apply myself. If in the end that isn't enough, than so be it. But I better not fail because I simply did not put in enough effort, that I couldn't put my mind to it and conentrate on doing the best I could. Me putting in a shoddy effort is insulting to those individuals who couldn't make the program but would have had the attitude and work ethic to succeed. I better not simply take up a spot and waste it.
Of course, I better walk the walk. Its all fun and exciting to do the whole "rah rah" thing but I better start this newfound energy for effort by making sure I pass my next two exams that are coming up... Wish me luck. =D
My lack of effort or drive, whatever it is exactly, has cost me bigtime. I didn't really expect it to happen, but it did. What happened is this: I didn't get credit for one of my courses. I'm not going to bother getting into the specifics (fair or unfair, bullshit class or not?), except the bottom line is that I failed it. Now, I forget if I've mentioned it earlier, but I was heading toward my next clinical fieldwork placement on May 15th. However, that is no longer so, because a requirement of attending fieldwork is passing all previous Occupational Therapy courses. Therefore, when May 15th rolls around, I'm staying home.
I did not see this one coming at all. I was sitting in the computer lab and checking my email and it felt like a glancing blow to the face. I was in a state of shock but trying to immediately deal with it as best as I could. I immediately set up an appointment with the instructor and see what my options are in this situation.
After that appointment, it basically confirmed that I'm not going to fieldwork. To kind of compound it a bit, that was also the day that I was going to the oral surgeon to figure out the details of my wisdom teeth removal for the summer. That ended with me being at Westmount Transit Center, and during that time I actually stopped by and visited with my former Mandarin teacher. It was more or less a pleasant visit. When she asked how I was doing, I said good, but of course it was more like "I'm fucking crushed because I can't go onto placement."
On the long bus ride home, I forget if it was the same day or earlier, I had a long time to think. After recovering from the initial shock of all, I started to think. Maybe this could be a positive event after all. In fact, this could be the best thing to happen to me so far in OT... Yes, failing a course. Why? Because this consequence has given me a sense of urgency and a sense that I do need to apply myself. If in the end that isn't enough, than so be it. But I better not fail because I simply did not put in enough effort, that I couldn't put my mind to it and conentrate on doing the best I could. Me putting in a shoddy effort is insulting to those individuals who couldn't make the program but would have had the attitude and work ethic to succeed. I better not simply take up a spot and waste it.
Of course, I better walk the walk. Its all fun and exciting to do the whole "rah rah" thing but I better start this newfound energy for effort by making sure I pass my next two exams that are coming up... Wish me luck. =D
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