Star Wars and stuff
Its been a quiet long weekend. On Friday I got to drive to work again (right by Belvedere station) because my parents were going to Calgary 'till Saturday evening. The drive there was pretty much a non event, although I heard about the semi truck hitting the bus over the radio. Work breezes by and at lunch I actually start to feel my throat getting a bit sore. That's great, I'm getting sick...
Anyways, I figure out a plan to watch Star Wars Revenge of the Sith with my bro the next afternoon. We'll have breakfast somewhere, line up half hour before doors open and kill time however we need to. For some reason I think things are open at 9 so we leave around then, but of course nothing is. We eat at Moxies at 10, and that brings us to 11 am which is about half an hour 'till the theater opens. A bit of a line actually forms but nothing maddening. We're one of the first to be there so we get good theater eseats.
As for the movie itself, well its okay. It would be interesting to see the original trilogy again and see if everything fits in well. The biggest problem I have with the prequel trilogy (PT) is that its too much about the special effects. Sure, thats the draw with Star Wars, the lightsabers, blasters, and ships. I never was bothered with the differences between the original trilogy and the current one regarding things such as lightsaber fight scenes and crowd scenes, because thats really just a film making thing, if I was reading the story there isn't a difference. But the special effects are the focus instead of the characters and events. Seriously, whats up with all these CG characters and animals? The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy really sucked me in, whereas I find the SW trilogy I'm just amused by shiny lasers and force chokes. Oh yeah, I almost preferred the original lightsaber fight between Obi Wan and Darth Vader back in A New Hope than in some of the PT fights. Reason? I can't f*'ing see what the hell is going on! "I think its cool.. I can hear the whrrrr's and see bright lights twirling..."
Anyways, my parents get back in time for dinner (yay!). As we're talking, they look and point at the paper and my mom mentions she was feeling sick to her stomach when she found about the semi truck broadsiding the bus (The thing I heard over the radio). It turns out that this bus is part of the same service that my dad takes to get home. My dad took the first bus back, and the one that was hit was maybe the 11th or 12th bus heading to Edmonton. Four were killed and about 20 more were hurt. A bit of sad irony, the Journal reported that one of the victims didn't like to drive that stretch of road and so he took the bus because he felt it was safer. My parents found out about this when they phoned the friend they were visiting, and he came off on the phone as very worried because he knows what bus service my dad took.
While this didn't come across as a razor thin escape from fate, it was another reminder of how quick life can change. There have been a number of reminders over the past years, or at least it feels that way. I'm not really sure how to take these, do I just kind of accept it as a part of life? That these things happen and there is a certain level where we just roll with it? Or that its a signal to do the things you need and want to do?
I guess thats growing up. I tend not to think about the difficult parts of the future, just the potential cutesy Kodak moments...
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Whats up?
Hmm... I haven't really looked up any more info about the CPR stuff, although I did see that the U of A is holding a session in mid June. Maybe I'm better off checking out other places.
Lets see, so far its been an activity filled week. I guess I can give a bit of a recap of what happened and some thoughts...
On Sunday a load of us went out to Hawrelak park, well, at least the site nearby. It was fun to be outside and ice fights are apperantly still really fun! Yeah, in one confrontation a friend named Andy comes up to me with a tray of ice ready to toss at me. At the time I head a cup of Vanilla Pepsi, and for some reason reflexively tossed it at him (yeah, real nice...). He still comes at me relatively unfazed and then I slip and wipe out on the grass and get even more grass stains. Whatever, I think he got the worst of it (=
Fast forward a bit to Monday where we decide to have a game of Monopoly. To tell you the truth, its not very often you can have a full fun game of Monopoly or Risk. Those games are quite the momentary friendship killer. Thats not to say that there can't be friendly games, but that it can be difficult (Frick?! Why are you attacking me?? He just took over a continent!). Sometimes you even start yelling at the dice (because that helps soooooo much!). The most classic moment ever though, and this has to be shared, is a game of Risk 2025. At the time, Ryan had the option to "nuke" continents and he opted to do so. Each side of the dice corresponded to a continent, and at the time I was nervous because I held 2. Anyways, he proceeds to roll the number that goes to his continent, and nukes himself. The card doesn't specify that you CAN'T nuke yourself sooo.... bam!! Its pretty much game over man. Friggin priceless!!
Anyways, we can't finish the game because people have work and school the next day, so right now that game is in stasis.
We'll fast forward to a birthday dinner at Mikado's (a Japanese restaurant). Everyone seemed pretty satisfied with the food, although it was a bit pricey. I was driving Keith and Delia, and for those who don't know, they get involved in the most stubborn arguments ever. I usually just sit and face the opposite direction, because its really frustrating listening to them.
The gist of it is this:
"People can be nice"
"But not everyone is nice"
"Well maybe because other people aren't nice to them"
"So people can be mean!"
"Well, only if people aren't nice... but... "
Like what the frick? This isn't even an argument. This isn't even a discussion, its just making a bunch of statements and trying to appear more right. For some reason, their personalities mix into the most frustrating conversations ever.
Okay, you know how whenever a group of friends get into activity _____ there is always one or two people who sit in the corner because they are uncomfortable with the activity? The bums that don't include themselves for some reason? Yeah, well thats totally me because afterward we went to karaoke it up. I'd just sit on the couch farthest and stare at the words on the screen. For some reason I just can't get into it, and it sucks because everyone else is having so much fun. I think its because I don't want to get up and sing into the mic and suck, but really, who cares? And its not like there's a prize to win or anything. One of these days I'm gonna get up in front of the mic!! ....but yeah...
And so thats an update! At the very least, this is a decent record of what I did this summer...
Hmm... I haven't really looked up any more info about the CPR stuff, although I did see that the U of A is holding a session in mid June. Maybe I'm better off checking out other places.
Lets see, so far its been an activity filled week. I guess I can give a bit of a recap of what happened and some thoughts...
On Sunday a load of us went out to Hawrelak park, well, at least the site nearby. It was fun to be outside and ice fights are apperantly still really fun! Yeah, in one confrontation a friend named Andy comes up to me with a tray of ice ready to toss at me. At the time I head a cup of Vanilla Pepsi, and for some reason reflexively tossed it at him (yeah, real nice...). He still comes at me relatively unfazed and then I slip and wipe out on the grass and get even more grass stains. Whatever, I think he got the worst of it (=
Fast forward a bit to Monday where we decide to have a game of Monopoly. To tell you the truth, its not very often you can have a full fun game of Monopoly or Risk. Those games are quite the momentary friendship killer. Thats not to say that there can't be friendly games, but that it can be difficult (Frick?! Why are you attacking me?? He just took over a continent!). Sometimes you even start yelling at the dice (because that helps soooooo much!). The most classic moment ever though, and this has to be shared, is a game of Risk 2025. At the time, Ryan had the option to "nuke" continents and he opted to do so. Each side of the dice corresponded to a continent, and at the time I was nervous because I held 2. Anyways, he proceeds to roll the number that goes to his continent, and nukes himself. The card doesn't specify that you CAN'T nuke yourself sooo.... bam!! Its pretty much game over man. Friggin priceless!!
Anyways, we can't finish the game because people have work and school the next day, so right now that game is in stasis.
We'll fast forward to a birthday dinner at Mikado's (a Japanese restaurant). Everyone seemed pretty satisfied with the food, although it was a bit pricey. I was driving Keith and Delia, and for those who don't know, they get involved in the most stubborn arguments ever. I usually just sit and face the opposite direction, because its really frustrating listening to them.
The gist of it is this:
"People can be nice"
"But not everyone is nice"
"Well maybe because other people aren't nice to them"
"So people can be mean!"
"Well, only if people aren't nice... but... "
Like what the frick? This isn't even an argument. This isn't even a discussion, its just making a bunch of statements and trying to appear more right. For some reason, their personalities mix into the most frustrating conversations ever.
Okay, you know how whenever a group of friends get into activity _____ there is always one or two people who sit in the corner because they are uncomfortable with the activity? The bums that don't include themselves for some reason? Yeah, well thats totally me because afterward we went to karaoke it up. I'd just sit on the couch farthest and stare at the words on the screen. For some reason I just can't get into it, and it sucks because everyone else is having so much fun. I think its because I don't want to get up and sing into the mic and suck, but really, who cares? And its not like there's a prize to win or anything. One of these days I'm gonna get up in front of the mic!! ....but yeah...
And so thats an update! At the very least, this is a decent record of what I did this summer...
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Monday, May 09, 2005
Last comments
I'll quickly end off what I started about the tournament. I promptly lost my next match 5-2 but it was a good experience (it was here where I didn't dodge all the sidekicks and got caught, it was sore for a bit but now its completely gone). Again, didn't embarass myself and managed to learn a few things. Yay!
I was going to talk about how others did, but I changed my mind. If they decided to blog about it, that's great and if not, thats okay. Maybe I'll comment, if anyone wants me to. Anyways, the tournament doesn't feel as long as it used to, even though I have to wait a lot longer for my events.
Not much else to report on a Monday. Well, today it rained and I didn't mind it all that much. It was just some minor drizzles but I had a decent jacket and hood on so it wasn't horrible. After the tournament there's not a whole lot to look forward to. Oh wait!! Movies!! I'm actually looking forward to watching a few movies! Hey, does anyone wanna watch Unleashed
this Friday?? A Jet Li movie with some hope!! woohoo!
I'll quickly end off what I started about the tournament. I promptly lost my next match 5-2 but it was a good experience (it was here where I didn't dodge all the sidekicks and got caught, it was sore for a bit but now its completely gone). Again, didn't embarass myself and managed to learn a few things. Yay!
I was going to talk about how others did, but I changed my mind. If they decided to blog about it, that's great and if not, thats okay. Maybe I'll comment, if anyone wants me to. Anyways, the tournament doesn't feel as long as it used to, even though I have to wait a lot longer for my events.
Not much else to report on a Monday. Well, today it rained and I didn't mind it all that much. It was just some minor drizzles but I had a decent jacket and hood on so it wasn't horrible. After the tournament there's not a whole lot to look forward to. Oh wait!! Movies!! I'm actually looking forward to watching a few movies! Hey, does anyone wanna watch Unleashed
this Friday?? A Jet Li movie with some hope!! woohoo!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Some thoughts and tiny bruises
Well I'll quickly start off by saying that I started my courier job for the City of Edmonton. I did this last year, and a quick description of what I do is that I deliver the garbage pickup calendars. Mailing it out appears to cause a few hassles with using Canada Post (oh yeah, and deliver these calendars in housing zones that do not correspond with your mail route) so thats why we have a job for the month of May. This is accomplished by having groups of 6, with one being a leadhand (and driver of a rented van) and the rest of us to deliver the calendars. This year I have a decent driver that is a retired foreman, and 4 fellow couriers that are female.
Interestingly enough, despite the City of Edmonton being "equal opportunity" the ratio of females to males seems to be 8 to 1. Is the fact that most of the couriers I'm working with girls a good thing? I'm not really sure it is. I'm not that great with initiating a lasting conversation and I don't have a whole lot to add when they're talking (did you see the Bachelor??). You also tend to overhear some interesting comments, such as: "Back during (high) school we used to have "commando" days. We thought it was so funny and cool! So I went the day without any underwear! Later on, I had a yeast infection..."
...What the ...
Huh?? How do you respond to that??
Some last comments about the job. Mentally, its not very difficult. For the most part, if you get good directions from your leadhand you won't get confused. It helps to be decent with reading maps and understanding where you are, but not completely needed. Physically it can take its toll, despite the fact that you are just walking. The weather is the tough part, and really when the job is walking outside there are a lot of tougher jobs out there. Despite that, I remember walking in some blistering heat last year and thought to myself, how slow am I moving??
Soooooo onto the Ging Wu tournament! Its a relatively big deal because our Karate club doesn't often go very out of the way to hit the tournament scene. This year was a good one as people from our club managed to medal. The ones that I think still read this blog I'll just congratulate, so kudos to Devin, Anthony, Larry... and uh... I'll give one to Kevin for helping finish my pizza. Thanks man, a very difficult role indeed. Unfortunately, I didn't medal but at least I didn't embarrass myself (=
This year would be a toughie, as now I'm in the blackbelt category. Now I would have to wait the whole day before my division starts. I guess I could have helped judged kata and sparring divisions, but I didn't really feel up for it. Sparring I wouldn't have minded. But katas (forms, patterns... same thing) are really tough because I didn't remember what different styles (even just for "hard", the one we're categorized under) look like. Katas, very briefly, can be described as prearranged movements in a fight. I tend to look at it more of a training tool that helps you in balance, conditioning, body movements, attention, and dedication to bother to learn something. I'll just leave it at that for the moment. Judging kata's can be very subjective, and thats whats difficult. I also tend to be very biased against certain kata's that to be put bluntly, seem unusual to me. I'm pretty decent with details regarding these, but I'd probably feel more comfortable judging these next year.
As for judging point sparring, which I call the baby of combat sports, its a bit less subjective. The main thing you learn from Point sparring is to land the hit first. However, some purpose is lost because you need to score jabs to the head the same as a hard body kick.
Anyways, on to when I actually competed. I'm just going to talk about myself, because thats whats important after all. Plus, I missed Ant and Ranald's sparring because my kata division got called up. I didn't place, but I'm confident I was scored in the upper half of the division. When you perform a kata, its pretty much only going to be you performing a routine for about a minute and a half at the max. In the middle of it, I knew I was doing a good job but that it wasn't enough. There are some adjustments to make (be quicker, improve certain parts that require kicks), but I got some encouragement. One person who's katas I admire is Irvin Tong (ended up with a silver) and when we lined up he gave a compliment, saying that was a nice kata. "Well thanks, but I'm still chasing yours..." I also got one from Larry, who's always been watching me like a younger brother. "Okay, well dude I'm gonna go with the conspiracy thing... it was great because you emphasized this part and this... and then you only got ______ for scores... jeez!!"
Now for the point sparring. Quick description of what it is. Its a match where the competitors try to get 5 points first, or the most in 2 minutes. I was pretty nervous about this one for the whole day because I really did not want to go in there and lose 0-5. I was in the lightweight blackbelt category in a single elimination tournament.
I didn't really remember a whole lot about the first match except for the last two points. Luckily, with the aid of some video (Thanks to Jo and her bro) I remember a few things. I remembered this guy is very aggressive, but that his hands weren't particularly sharp. His movement coming in while using hands were probably similar to mine. Anyways, he wasn't wearing a helmet despite the rules stating that it was mandatory. When it was pointed out, the score was 3-3 and the points came by him either attacking and landing, or attacking and missing and me countering. After he gets the helmet he scores so its almost over. Its only a 2 minute match so I kinda had an inkling that I was nearly out of time, but I wasn't going to rush in and get kicked in the body. Its down to the wire and he misses an attack and I miss the counter, but he ends up at the edge of the ring. Knowing I really have to come in, I switch from orthodox to southpaw and then throw a right leg kick that barely resembles anything, and come in with hands. The kick helps break the distance and I know I've got the point because my punches landed on the jaw of his helmet. Just as that exchange ends and the ref breaks it, the timekeeper throws a white belt all tied up to signal that time is over. Phew! Quite the timing... Well its sudden death now, so what do I do? I felt I'd get an opening, and in the video he is clearly inching up toward me before the ref restarts it. I'm actually backing away already. At the time, I just felt that the way he was standing he was going to come at me as soon as the ref says "start!" Well, that exactly happens and I jump back and throw a simple roundhouse kick that scores to his body. Match over and with a bit of luck I manage to move on.
Quite the paragraph for a 2 min+ first round match huh?
Thats all for now since its late. I'll probably add some more comments about how everyone else did.
Well I'll quickly start off by saying that I started my courier job for the City of Edmonton. I did this last year, and a quick description of what I do is that I deliver the garbage pickup calendars. Mailing it out appears to cause a few hassles with using Canada Post (oh yeah, and deliver these calendars in housing zones that do not correspond with your mail route) so thats why we have a job for the month of May. This is accomplished by having groups of 6, with one being a leadhand (and driver of a rented van) and the rest of us to deliver the calendars. This year I have a decent driver that is a retired foreman, and 4 fellow couriers that are female.
Interestingly enough, despite the City of Edmonton being "equal opportunity" the ratio of females to males seems to be 8 to 1. Is the fact that most of the couriers I'm working with girls a good thing? I'm not really sure it is. I'm not that great with initiating a lasting conversation and I don't have a whole lot to add when they're talking (did you see the Bachelor??). You also tend to overhear some interesting comments, such as: "Back during (high) school we used to have "commando" days. We thought it was so funny and cool! So I went the day without any underwear! Later on, I had a yeast infection..."
...What the ...
Huh?? How do you respond to that??
Some last comments about the job. Mentally, its not very difficult. For the most part, if you get good directions from your leadhand you won't get confused. It helps to be decent with reading maps and understanding where you are, but not completely needed. Physically it can take its toll, despite the fact that you are just walking. The weather is the tough part, and really when the job is walking outside there are a lot of tougher jobs out there. Despite that, I remember walking in some blistering heat last year and thought to myself, how slow am I moving??
Soooooo onto the Ging Wu tournament! Its a relatively big deal because our Karate club doesn't often go very out of the way to hit the tournament scene. This year was a good one as people from our club managed to medal. The ones that I think still read this blog I'll just congratulate, so kudos to Devin, Anthony, Larry... and uh... I'll give one to Kevin for helping finish my pizza. Thanks man, a very difficult role indeed. Unfortunately, I didn't medal but at least I didn't embarrass myself (=
This year would be a toughie, as now I'm in the blackbelt category. Now I would have to wait the whole day before my division starts. I guess I could have helped judged kata and sparring divisions, but I didn't really feel up for it. Sparring I wouldn't have minded. But katas (forms, patterns... same thing) are really tough because I didn't remember what different styles (even just for "hard", the one we're categorized under) look like. Katas, very briefly, can be described as prearranged movements in a fight. I tend to look at it more of a training tool that helps you in balance, conditioning, body movements, attention, and dedication to bother to learn something. I'll just leave it at that for the moment. Judging kata's can be very subjective, and thats whats difficult. I also tend to be very biased against certain kata's that to be put bluntly, seem unusual to me. I'm pretty decent with details regarding these, but I'd probably feel more comfortable judging these next year.
As for judging point sparring, which I call the baby of combat sports, its a bit less subjective. The main thing you learn from Point sparring is to land the hit first. However, some purpose is lost because you need to score jabs to the head the same as a hard body kick.
Anyways, on to when I actually competed. I'm just going to talk about myself, because thats whats important after all. Plus, I missed Ant and Ranald's sparring because my kata division got called up. I didn't place, but I'm confident I was scored in the upper half of the division. When you perform a kata, its pretty much only going to be you performing a routine for about a minute and a half at the max. In the middle of it, I knew I was doing a good job but that it wasn't enough. There are some adjustments to make (be quicker, improve certain parts that require kicks), but I got some encouragement. One person who's katas I admire is Irvin Tong (ended up with a silver) and when we lined up he gave a compliment, saying that was a nice kata. "Well thanks, but I'm still chasing yours..." I also got one from Larry, who's always been watching me like a younger brother. "Okay, well dude I'm gonna go with the conspiracy thing... it was great because you emphasized this part and this... and then you only got ______ for scores... jeez!!"
Now for the point sparring. Quick description of what it is. Its a match where the competitors try to get 5 points first, or the most in 2 minutes. I was pretty nervous about this one for the whole day because I really did not want to go in there and lose 0-5. I was in the lightweight blackbelt category in a single elimination tournament.
I didn't really remember a whole lot about the first match except for the last two points. Luckily, with the aid of some video (Thanks to Jo and her bro) I remember a few things. I remembered this guy is very aggressive, but that his hands weren't particularly sharp. His movement coming in while using hands were probably similar to mine. Anyways, he wasn't wearing a helmet despite the rules stating that it was mandatory. When it was pointed out, the score was 3-3 and the points came by him either attacking and landing, or attacking and missing and me countering. After he gets the helmet he scores so its almost over. Its only a 2 minute match so I kinda had an inkling that I was nearly out of time, but I wasn't going to rush in and get kicked in the body. Its down to the wire and he misses an attack and I miss the counter, but he ends up at the edge of the ring. Knowing I really have to come in, I switch from orthodox to southpaw and then throw a right leg kick that barely resembles anything, and come in with hands. The kick helps break the distance and I know I've got the point because my punches landed on the jaw of his helmet. Just as that exchange ends and the ref breaks it, the timekeeper throws a white belt all tied up to signal that time is over. Phew! Quite the timing... Well its sudden death now, so what do I do? I felt I'd get an opening, and in the video he is clearly inching up toward me before the ref restarts it. I'm actually backing away already. At the time, I just felt that the way he was standing he was going to come at me as soon as the ref says "start!" Well, that exactly happens and I jump back and throw a simple roundhouse kick that scores to his body. Match over and with a bit of luck I manage to move on.
Quite the paragraph for a 2 min+ first round match huh?
Thats all for now since its late. I'll probably add some more comments about how everyone else did.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Where will this lead to...?
I'm not really sure what I want to blog about. I guess I'll just type and see what comes out. Well, just recently I got back some of my final grades. For some reason this seems rather quick to me, although It has been a week and a bit for most of my finals. I've got all my marks except for one. There seems to be a pattern of A-'s in courses which I could have gotten A's in, and some B's to drop me down. My gpa is hovering around the 3.3 range, which has for some reason been a benchmark for me. I probably should have aimed higher, because that is definitely not a guarantee to hit or top requirements needed to get into Occupational Therapy. I threw an application to Business, but really thats meh to me.
The schoolyear for me has ended and I'm wondering if I really learned anything. This year isn't a whole lot different from last year. Grades are more or less the same. Is my mentality the same? I'd like to think I'm a bit less lazy in terms of using my mind, but that probably isn't true. In fact, behaviourally I haven't seemed to learn a whole lot. I repeated the same mistakes from last year. However, it isn't like I'm in academic disaster. I just need to tweak a few things, take more initiative and work very hard. There's a quote attributed to Muhammad Ali that goes like this:
"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. "
There is another one that I liked by Mike "Pinball" Clemons, coach of the Toronto Arguonauts. I don't remember what he said exactly, but in the time leading to the Gre y Cup Championship he said that it would be better to work hard and be miserable for a few weeks to be prepared to win, instead of being miserable because you missed out by not preparing enough. I just gotta try to keep these years in perspective. I can give it a good effort for 4 years and be a bit better off for the rest of my life.
No, good effort may not be enough.... After all, there is a difference between a good fighter and a great fighter. I'm still feeling mixed about University. My general mood isn't strictly directed at University life either. Its not a feeling of excessive stress or difficulty. Not that I haven't ever gotten the shakes (a feeling where you just think... oh my I am going to be annihilated on this exam...) buts its just something else that I'm discontent about. Its something that keeps recurring and I have small bouts of dissatisfaction vs optimism.
Eh, I'll read over this tomorrow and see what I think then.
I'm not really sure what I want to blog about. I guess I'll just type and see what comes out. Well, just recently I got back some of my final grades. For some reason this seems rather quick to me, although It has been a week and a bit for most of my finals. I've got all my marks except for one. There seems to be a pattern of A-'s in courses which I could have gotten A's in, and some B's to drop me down. My gpa is hovering around the 3.3 range, which has for some reason been a benchmark for me. I probably should have aimed higher, because that is definitely not a guarantee to hit or top requirements needed to get into Occupational Therapy. I threw an application to Business, but really thats meh to me.
The schoolyear for me has ended and I'm wondering if I really learned anything. This year isn't a whole lot different from last year. Grades are more or less the same. Is my mentality the same? I'd like to think I'm a bit less lazy in terms of using my mind, but that probably isn't true. In fact, behaviourally I haven't seemed to learn a whole lot. I repeated the same mistakes from last year. However, it isn't like I'm in academic disaster. I just need to tweak a few things, take more initiative and work very hard. There's a quote attributed to Muhammad Ali that goes like this:
"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. "
There is another one that I liked by Mike "Pinball" Clemons, coach of the Toronto Arguonauts. I don't remember what he said exactly, but in the time leading to the Gre y Cup Championship he said that it would be better to work hard and be miserable for a few weeks to be prepared to win, instead of being miserable because you missed out by not preparing enough. I just gotta try to keep these years in perspective. I can give it a good effort for 4 years and be a bit better off for the rest of my life.
No, good effort may not be enough.... After all, there is a difference between a good fighter and a great fighter. I'm still feeling mixed about University. My general mood isn't strictly directed at University life either. Its not a feeling of excessive stress or difficulty. Not that I haven't ever gotten the shakes (a feeling where you just think... oh my I am going to be annihilated on this exam...) buts its just something else that I'm discontent about. Its something that keeps recurring and I have small bouts of dissatisfaction vs optimism.
Eh, I'll read over this tomorrow and see what I think then.
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